Over the weekend paparrazi spotted photos of former model Kimora Lee Simmons lounging topless on a yacht in the Mediterranean with her three children, daughters Ming (13), Aoki (10) and son Kenzo (4).
Kimora expressed her frustration with the photographs on Twitter:
Why r there pics of me on the internet on my yacht Topless??! People really have time 2 helicopter over+ spy on folks??
But the photos got me thinking about my own situation, as I decide what boundaries regarding nudity to apply in my own home.
When I was breastfeeding my son Noah I was, for all intensive purposes, a nudist. He needed access to my breasts at frequent, regular intervals throughout the day, and it was just easier for me to walk around half naked than putting on and taking off bras and blouses a bajillion times a day. My friends got tired of seeing my leaky milk boobs. My husband got used to coming home to find me, exhausted, laid out on the couch, double D’s hanging out. And of course, Noah witnessed all of this.
Now that my nursing relationship is over I’ve become more aware of being nude in front of Noah. He is just 10 months old, but I find myself asking, what boundaries do I set for him and for me? When does it start to matter? Is there anything to be gained from raising children in a household where nudity is normal? Is that body positive or is it breaking healthy boundaries?
I think of the infamous Time Magazine breastfeeding cover showing 26-year-old Jamie Grumet breastfeeding her 3-year-old son.
Though she received ample support from the breastfeeding community (as she should!), she was also overwhelmingly shamed and
ridiculed for what some saw as a deviant and even sexual act. It seems that many people were unable to separate her breasts as sexual from her breasts as maternal. And that, I think, is totally unfair.
But what about when breasts are no longer maternal? When nursing stops and they go back to being primarily sexual. Does nudity then become inappropriate? Does it just depend on the family?
Ladies, I’d love to hear your thoughts on this! What rules regarding nudity do you have in your own home?
I am never nude in front of my two year old son, Justice. Sometimes if I am changing my shirt and he is in the room, I will turn around or cover my breasts with my hands so that he doesn’t see them. I think that parents should avoid being nude in front of their child when he/she is around 2 years old, because around this time children will become more aware of their bodies(and their parents).
I think it depends on the family. I don’t think you should teach your child to be ashamed of nudity.
I see nothing wrong with it. Like the author I am half nude on most days breastfeeding my son. My daughter and husband are used to this and I think it reinforces a healthy attitude and feelings about my/our bodies. Turning around to dress etc. teaches a young child that a body is something to be ashamed of in some way. Allowing my children to see me breastfeed allows them to understand the power of a woman’s body and not just look at it as a sexual entity. It is a childbearing and feeding vessel as well.
I disagree. I think it reinforces modesty. No one should be seeing my breasts but me and my husband(currently not married).
I agree with Tash and Tonya. I have a 4 yr old and a 2 yr old and I take a shower with them playing in the bathroom, I change with no problem around them. Because of that my son is constantly asking questions that his curious about and I am able to give him healthy answers. If I did not do that who would answer these questions when he sees a woman’s body parts? A child mirrors his parents. If you are ashamed he or she will be ashamed too. sking
My views on this have evolved. At first, I was all about covering up after kids get old enough to ask questions. But right after my son turned 2, we moved to Germany, where it’s not uncommon for kids to run around the beach stark naked (in some places, adults can do it too!). Initially I was clutching the heck outta my pearls, but after being here for nearly two years, I’ve noticed that women here seem MUCH more comfortable in and loving toward their bodies. Maybe there’s a correlation? In any case, I’ve become much more relaxed.
I think it has to do with the fact that America sexualizes women, especially our breasts. In other countries, breasts are seen as “milk machines”, but here in the States, they are only thought of in a sexual way. That’s why there is such an uproar when a mother chooses to breastfeed in public.
http://www.lucydanielscenter.org/page/protecting-children-from-sexual-overstimulation
That was a very good read! Thanks for posting the link!!
I think I agree with the article that Alisa posted, especially the last few paragraphs. I haven’t put enough thought into it to base a well thought out opinion, but off the cuff, I’d say I agree.
My son is only 7 weeks old, but my daughter is 2. My husband goes out of his way not to be completely naked around her and that seems natural to me, so I would say it would be the same the other way around (with a mother and son).
I agree that it has to do with modesty and setting them up for respect and healthy sexual behavior in the future, hopefully within the confines of a marriage relationship.
As for breastfeeding, I think that’s different. My daughter sees me breastfeed and I don’t think it’s a big deal. If my son reaches 3 and I happen to be breastfeeding a younger sibling, I wouldn’t go out of my way to hide it, but I think I would definitely cover up once breastfeeding is done and explain why if he asks.
Good read!
Aja