I gave birth in the maternity unit of a private hospital – the same one that I was born in exactly 30 years and 16 days before. The hospital’s website proclaims that it “is recognized as a ‘Baby-Friendly’ hospital”. This means that the hospital practises all ten steps to successful breast-feeding as established by the World Health Organization (WHO) and United Nations Children’s Fund.” (I hope you get the chance to read through the ‘Ten Steps’ here.) As a part of the services offered at the hospital, I was visited a few times a day by the lactation consultant, but I came away from the experience with disappointment on two counts:
-
1. After my baby girl was born and I was taken to my room, I asked the midwife if I would get the chance to feed her, after they had finished making their checks on her. I was told that I would, but waited for the next 3 hours before Mwalimu was brought to me. They may have assumed that I wanted to sleep instead of nurse, but this was in conflict with step 4 on the list.
-
2. When the lactation consultant noticed that I was not experienced at hand-expressing the milk (into a cup), she quickly left my side then returned with a cup of baby formula and proceeded to feed it to my child. She may have assumed that I wasn’t interested, but this was in conflict with step 6 on the list.
I later reflected on the experience, and realised that the large majority of young women who are giving birth these days have no desire to breastfeed their babies – even if they have no medical challenge that prevents them from nursing. So, it seems that I had become a victim of the sweeping generalisation that many healthcare professionals make in regards to breastfeeding.
The next challenge I faced came from my older relatives, who encouraged me to supplement with baby formula. They told me that I was being stupid and unrealistic with my desire to breastfeed exclusively and that my body, which had nurtured and nourished my child through a very healthy pregnancy, was incapable of supplying enough milk to sustain her appetite. I was also warned that my body would become emaciated, because the baby would drain everything from me! By the time Mwalimu was 3 months old, there had been so many attempts and requests to give her solid foods – but, I never caved in.
I struggled with learning how to get my baby to latch properly for the first 3 weeks of her life. Still, I never gave up! I spent most of the day pumping milk and feeding her with a bottle. But I was determined to give her only breastmilk – even if it meant ‘exclusive pumping’. I really am indebted to my little circle of young-mommy friends, because they were the ones who supported me like steel columns beneath a sagging bridge. Finally, after reading dozens of articles, watching video after video, and trying day after day – Mwalimu latched on and never looked back again. She remained exclusively breastfed until she was 6 months and 2 weeks old. As a 10-month old, she continues to be breastfed, while enjoying meals and snacks from the family pot everyday.
If you want to breastfeed your little one, don’t let anyone – not even a disillusioned lactation consultant – discourage you! Like every other significant milestone or skill we gain in life, breastfeeding will not come easily. Still, don’t give up! Draw on the strength of all our mothers who have done it for millennia. Utilise all the resources that are at your fingertips – through the internet – and you will find droves of advice, personal testimonies and medical documentation on all the benefits of breastfeeding – for both you and your baby. As much as you can, avoid the baby formulas and try to delay the introduction of solids. Please mommas, make the sacrifice to breastfeed.
Didan Ashanta is a natural living enthusiast who blogs at DidanAshanta.com. She currently lives in Tokyo with her husband and 9-month-old daughter.
I’m so sorry you had that experience. From family and “professionals”?! So many voices to tell us we “can’t” when we know ourselves that we can.
Good for you for listening to yourself!
Thanks for empathising, RJG. It was an intense struggle. But, worth every moment!
I’m 30 and I experienced negativity from a lot of family. When I told them I was going to breastfeed, they shook their heads and said “why do that when you can buy formula.” One relative even said I was going to have a miserable experience. I wanted not only to nourish my daughter with what GOD gave me, but I also wanted to prove everyone wrong. Today, people take the easy way out. We are so quick to find something quicker or easier. I was determined to breastfeed. She’s six month’s and I plan on breastfeeding until at least 10-12 months old. Ladies do not get discouraged. I had no support from family and they are still asking “are you still breastfeeding? Yes I am and will continue to “thank you”
Big props to you, LLani!
My daughter is almost 12 months old and we’re still going strong. Keep up your determination, sis! We know it’s worth it.
I learned the hard way that not all doctors or hospital professions actually know what they are doing so I tend to do my own research. As for the family members, while it is nice to get advice from them on occasion, older family members came from an era where kids were almost never breastfed and they may still believe the things they were told when they had their kids. Many of these things older people did as parents are no longer condoned as health care knowledge has evolved; so while it might be nice to get their input, take it with a grain of salt. I can attest that breastfeeding does not sap all the nutrients out of you, if milk production competes with the rest of your body for nutrients, your body will simply produce less milk, it won’t kill you, your body’s #1 priority is sustaining itself, just like during a pregnancy. If you don’t eat enough to sustain yourself and the developing baby, then the body gets rid of the baby to save yourself. My baby had GERD and in order to breastfeed I had to remove all veggies, most fruits that I eat, and all dairy products which was starving my body of nutrients, and as a result I wasn’t able to produce a lot of milk and I began to dry up. Ultimately I had to switch to formula for the sake of myself and my baby.
Thanks for sharing your experience, Tara. I have much respect for mothers who try breastfeeding even when it is challenging. Your point could not have been better made: the body is intelligent.
My daughter was born prematurely, wayyyy before she had the ability to breast feed, much less feed from a bottle. The desire to breastfeed was strong from the start, our goal from day 1 of 72 in the hospital. Once she got home, she went from bottle feeding with some preemie formula and breast milk to exclusive breast feeding a little before my due date. She is all caught up in height and weight! Now at 16 months, she’s still breast feeding. I plan to go to WHO recommended age of 2. She rarely gets sick, and when she does, it’s not for long at all. I attribute that to the antibodies in the breast milk. The benefits go on, it’s sad to hear mothers not wanting to breastfeed and lactation consultants failing at their jobs! A lot of future ailments and allergies could be prevented if more mothers breast fed. THE BODIES OF HUMAN BABIES BIOLOGICALLY EXPECT TO DIGEST HUMAN MILK.
You are one of the best voices for “Breast is Best”, Denise! I am hoping to go until my daughter is 2 years old as well. Keep up the good work
My experience was similar. I just gave birth on 11-11-13, I’m a first time mom. The “lactation consultant” was getting frustrated with my baby not latching after only 3 attempts. She left the room and returned with sugar water and nearly fed him the entire bottle until I told her I felt uncomfortable with this method. Next she returned with formula and a tube that was attached to my breast, the baby drank the bottle of formula instead of my milk. I finally told her I will do this on my own. I called my local La Leche League and got a few tips, my baby ended up latching on perfectly by the end of the day. And is exclusively breast feeding since wednesday.
Oh my word! Tasha, my heart aches as I read your account. It brings back memories of my own encounter. I applaud you for being resilient and as my Granma would say, “an experienced young mother”. Much love and power to you.
My experience was slightly different I did a c-section and the drugs knocked me out I woke up to the nurse telling me it was time to feed and my first memory is a little person attached to my breast attempting to suck for dear life. The nurses actually kept encouraging me to breastfeed except ONE who when Matt refused to sleep in a glass cot and was hollering through the night cuz he wanted the warmth of his mommy the nurse asked me if I wanted her to take him and feed him with formula in the nursery so i could get sleep. I insisted no! I am fortunate that in those first frustrating 2 weeks that my husband was also insistent that I only breastfeed as well. It kept us going. Matt was exclusively breastfed up to Month 7 and then we supplemented with other things (unfortunately including formula because i had gone back to work and my milk store apparently dried up – and that led to months of constipation issues!!)
Thanks for telling your story, Kav. It just amazes me how the people we trust and PAY to guide us do the craziest things. Big props to your husband for being a strong voice when frustration got loud
It really saddens me to hear stories like this. I feel like I have to apologize for the ignorance that people have around breastfeeding. Luckily I have had pleasant experiences with breastfeeding my boys (ages 20 months and 4 weeks). I breastfed my oldest until the week of his first birthday and I plan on nursing for as long as I can with the youngest. One of my aunts has given me so many headaches with the comments she makes about breastfeeding. She comes from a generation that swears by supplementing with formula. She mentioned to me that I would have to give my newborn cereal to keep him full. Umm hello, his body may be big, but his stomach is still the size of a marble lady! I am trying to learn how to accept advice and comments gracefully as to not strain relations in the family, but would it kill them to be supportive?!?
Haha! Britney, I’m quite amused by the consistency in the thought patterns. The same sentiments re formula and cereal are strong in both Jamaica and Japan. You just continue to do what you know is best. One day, breastfeeding will end and they will find a new issue to challenge you on.
Smile and keep going.
Thanks for that link to the ten steps. I’m locking that away.
You’re welcome, Kyja!
I had baby-centric bookmarks in my web browser years before I considered becoming pregnant. You keep locking away your links and resources.
I was 26 when my husband and I had our daughter. We’re Black, vegetarian, had a home birth, vaccine free, and breastfed for 2 years (8months breast milk exclusive).
I won’t even BEGIN to go into the adversity we faced from families, friends and colleagues that do not agree with our lifestyle. What got us through was being educated about our choices and knowing, in the long run WE BELIEVED in the way we’re raising our daughter. She’s now 4 1/2 confident, loving, and more than anything we could imagine. Stand firm in your beliefs :).
Amazing stuff, Nikki! We share a number of convictions. You’re 3 1/2 years ahead of me in the journey, so I take courage from you. Thanks, sis.