A few weeks ago an Ebony.com article called ‘Dear Beautiful Daughters Who Happen to Be Light‘ popped up in my Facebook timeline. Curious, I clicked on the link. The letter started with “Dear beautiful daughters who happen to be racially ambiguous,” and it only got worse from there. While I believe the piece was intended to be a tribute to the diverse beauty of black children (and sometimes it was) it read more like an affirmation of light skinned privilege in the black community — and even went so far to say it;
“Use your privilege for good. People will listen to you, so please have something to say. Read, listen, and engage. Repeat. When you realize that other voices are missing, use your granted power to bring them into conversation. Please don’t speak for them. The tellers of hard-to-hear stories need ears, not translators.”
*Record scratch*
Whaaattt???
That paragraph stopped me in my tracks.
I couldn’t believe that, in 2013, there are people who still believe that dark skinned women need… advocates!? That women like Michelle Obama, Serena Williams, Ursula Burns, Mara Brock Akil and Oprah need lighter skinned humans to give them voice and “bring them into conversation.”
The article got me thinking about whether it’s even appropriate to include children in the ongoing color debate that seems to define African American culture (and sadly, many black and brown cultures around the world).
*************************
I do not ‘match’ my younger sister. I am freckled with brown eyes and skin the color of almonds. She is several shades darker, with deep brown skin and big bright eyes. Our difference in skin tone was never once pointed out by my parents because, frankly, they just did not care. They were both the first in their families to fight their way out of poverty — my father in Haiti and my mother in Detroit. And they did have to fight. They used every ounce of will and intelligence, ever bit of luck and serendipity, to get educated and climb out of systemic poverty. As such, their priority was to teach us kids the importance of education, perseverance and resourcefulness to find our way in the world. Skin color and tone (and looks in general) were never part of that conversation.
Outside of the home my sister and I noticed differences in how we were treated. It didn’t happen often, in large part because I’m 5 years older, so we didn’t really hang in the same social circles. But I remember the time she was followed around a pharmacy in New Kingston by a store clerk, and I was not. Or the times men would yell out “Browning!” to me as we passed on the street, but ignore my sister. But I never translated these incidents as meaningful ‘privilege.’
Fast forward to today and — how do I put this — my sister is far more impressive than I am. She graduated (with high honors) with a degree in Geology and Earth Sciences and was president of her college’s environmental association, the first black woman to hold that position. She studied for a semester at Oxford University, and interned for the Jamaica Department of Forestry. She is currently getting a double masters in Law and Geology, at a university where she also functions, at age 23, as an undergraduate professor. She was recently offered a position at an oil company in Dubai.
As for me? I got a bachelor’s degree in Communication (aka the easiest major in the world), tried my hand at journalism, gave up when it nearly bankrupted me, then moved back in with my parents to start a blog o_0 (Fun fact, to this day my Dad doesn’t quite get what I do. I am definitely the “slacker child” in his book…)
My sister’s charisma isn’t just professional. She dates A LOT more than I did when I was single, and attracts the ethnic rainbow.
When I look at my life compared to hers, it’s hard to articulate how or where the fact that I’m a few shades lighter gave me any noticeable or significant privilege. Our differences in path have to do with who we are as people — she’s an extrovert with a magnetic personality. She’s very focused and driven. I’m an emo introvert who is driven, yes, but also slow-moving, and always feeling some kind of anguish or angst over something.
Now, my sister will be the first to tell you that she deals with bullshit for being a dark skinned black woman. She complains of the lack of dark-skinned beauties in the media, and she sometimes deals with insensitive color jokes from ignorant black folks. But she would never say that being a dark skinned black woman kept her from getting educated, getting the jobs she wanted, or attracting eligible men.
*************************
Growing up my mother would always tell us the story of the teacher who called her ‘darkie’ in third grade. She sat beside a fair-skinned girl with long curly hair and it turns out they always had the same answers on tests and class assignments. The teacher questioned both girls, and concluded that my mother was the cheater. “You’re a darkie. You’re so black. You look like you cheat,” she told my 8-year-old mom. She moved my mother to the back of the class and allowed the fair-skinned girl to stay in front. Turns out my mom continued to score high, while the other girl’s grades dropped. Eventually the teacher moved my mom back to the front of the class — but she never apologized.
This story embodies what I’ve come to believe about colorism and privilege in the black community — it’s ugly, it hurts and it’s a problem. But at the end of the day, intelligence, resourcefulness and character get you where skin color — whether light or dark — simply won’t. (I do acknowledge that this is less true in appearance-oriented industries like entertainment. Lucky for me I don’t give a damn whether my kid becomes the next Disney star.)
I don’t plan on explaining skin color privilege to my son. He’ll see it in culture, I’m sure, and if he wants to talk about it, we will. But I won’t have a hand in giving him a complex that says if he’s lighter than someone he’s entitled to more than they have, and if he’s darker he’s entitled to less. And the constant debate on colorism is frustrating to me because class plays a much more decisive role than race (and, by extension, color) in determining the average American’s quality of life. While we bicker about light skin, dark skin and the brown paper bag, the gap between America’s upper and middle class continues to widen.
When it comes to color I think I’ll take a page from my parent’s playbook and teach my child that, in issues of life and love, it’s what’s in his head and heart that will ultimately get him where he needs to be.
Ladies, what do you think? Will you talk to your children about colorism in the black community? Have you already talked to them about it? How did the discussion go?
Leila Noelliste is the creator and editor of Black Girl with Long Hair and Baby and Blog.
This angers me as well. As a light-skinned woman with children who are brown-skinned (their father is African) I recently had an experience on the first day I sent my daughter to preschool. One of the other parents (a black woman whose family was from Jamaica) and I were walking together to pick our children up and she told me that the teacher probably treated her daughter whose dad is Spanish, badly because as the mom put it, “She’s the pretty one.” I guess my dark-skinned daughter who has a short afro, got treated fine because she didn’t have to worry about animosity from a jealous teacher over the girl’s light skin and long wavy hair. It was a sad moment and said so much about the ignorance of that woman.
The sad thing is that we’re doing it to ourselves. It’s like black on black emotional/mental crime. It’s our dirty little system that we use to make determinations about who is “worth it” and who is not. I simply refuse to participate.
I’m so confused by this. The distinctions we make based on color and skin tone within our race, is ridiculous.
Before I comment on discussing this with children, I need to lay this out in my mind. So the spectrum is this, times 100:
Very light (some may mistake for white)
Light (think Alma & Colin Powell)
Medium Light
Light with darker undertones
Light Brown
Brown
Brown with darker undertones
Darker brown
Dark dark brown
Brown Black
Black
And within those color distinctions there are dozens of shade variations. These variations are only apparent and matter to us, the black community. Are we saying someone who is say, light brown is treated better than someone who is medium brown or darker skinned? Or someone who is very light treated differently than brown black. See how ridiculous this is?
This is not to knock the experiences of those who have experienced discrimination or teasing. It’s just so counterproductive to me.
I think teaching our kids to have love for themselves and a sense of self worth is more important than teaching them that the 1/2 shade difference between them and their black counterparts makes the difference in how they’re treated in the black community.
This, from a brown skinned woman. Where I fall on the spectrum, I don’t know, and I don’t care.
“Teaching our kids to have love for themselves and a sense of self worth is more important than teaching them that the 1/2 shade difference between them and their black counterparts makes the difference in how they’re treated in the black community.”
I could not agree more!
Amen.
I look forward to the day that this is a non-issue in the black community. Personally, I consider myself medium brown, but have been called dark by those a shade lighter and light by those a shade darker, so “light-skinned” is relative. From my perspective we are all black people (or African American if we are being PC), but more importantly unless you can “pass” for something else you are just another black person to Caucasian/Hispanic/Asian/East Indian/and everyone else not of African descent, no matter what shade you are. It is only in the black community where the lightness or darkness of your skin has any currency and since the black community has very little privilege to confer it is really a non-issue.
Whether someone sees a light skinned or dark skinned black woman when they look at me, they still see a black woman. And the fact of the matter is that I have not lived a life of privilege based on my color. I have had successes and losses just like everyone else. I have been looked at by men with both admiration and indifference. I have gotten all that I have not based on the color of my skin, but largely the content of my character and what that character has directed me to do (good and bad).
I don’t have children yet, but no matter what they look like I would tell them that they need to be the best version of themselves. I will hope that they do not rely on their looks to get something or find their looks lacking because they don’t look like the person next to them. In most situations in life, comparison is the thief of joy.
One last thing, everyone with any amount of self-esteem looks in the mirror and finds something attractive in themselves, so the for author of the Ebony article to assert that “light-skinned” women should use their “pretty” for good is ridiculous. If we all see someone pretty and based on the authors assumptions, worthy, then we don’t need to be brought along by someone else’s sparkle, we all have a bit of glitter in our veins and can create our own sparkle.
I love this piece!
As a “medium brown” black woman, I can really relate to alot of it.
It’s funny because dark-skinned people think I have “light skinned privilege” while light-skinned people think I have the dark-skinned disadvantage, lol. It’s so ridiculous!!
Two of my closest friends are bi-racial and very very fair skinned. So is my mother-in-law, who often “passes” for Latina. We discuss colorism sometimes and all 3 of them say the same thing — they have yet to identify how the lightness of their skin translated into meaningful privilege. They also express frustration with black people who assume that they think they are better because they are light — my mother-in-law in particular.
My husband’s family is very mixed up. He and his cousins range from very dark-skinned to pale. He has 3 cousins in Portland who are white on their Dad’s side and bi-racial (white and black) on their mom’s side. It’s been really interesting getting to know them. One is pale with curly red hair and green eyes, one looks Puerto Rican (tan skin and dark eyes), and the youngest has pale skin, but kinky 4B textured hair and blue eyes. They all have unique identities, in part informed by how they look. The interesting thing is none of them see themselves as having privilege — because even in their mainly white neighborhood/school, it’s clear that they’re not “full white”, so they do face some discrimination.
I would just say this, I think colorism in the black community is powered by two things:
Dark skinned people who think they are “less than” or think they are “missing out” by not being light skinned with curly hair.
Light skinned people who want dark skinned people to feel “less than” so they can hang on to the privilege they have in the black community.
The sad thing is that, as the article mentioned, this privilege means little to nothing outside of the black community. Why would you want light skinned privilege anyway when all it means is that you’ll be lauded by a bunch of ignorant color-struck black people? What can you even do with that?
This is a very thought provoking article esp since if you are reading malcolm gladwells book david and goliath…it seems sometimes ‘without struggle there is no progress’ FD
i am on both sides of the spectrum being to light to be dark AND to dark to be light, ive been followed AND pushed to the front of the line. i know that the school of hard knocks can sometimes push you to achieve more then you ever thought and that however sometimes black women deserve a ‘rest’ too..in the article defense even tho its pretty offensive lighter women did act as a ‘representative’ in the past meaning there were times when a darker ‘she’ may not be given a voice, or access in other words, ‘white’ would only listen to ‘light’ like there may have not been a kenya had there not been a ‘vanessa’ so to speak, but we are speaking from a historical persecptive of course, harriet and venus or serena needed no intro but althea and others may have softened hardened hearts. Still this may not be a current one so i hope she (writer) MEANT if others are willing to listen to YOU because they will not listen to HER dont be a jerk. I dont think ( well i HOPE) she doesnt mean that brown women today still need a lighter advocate, but althought in the ‘past’ at certain specific times we may have. Ijs
I am however concerned these two youth in this pic would be targets of bullies because of perceived priveleges that may or may not exist. It is very possible to be raised and not be a racist. Even in the bible the ‘children are not held accountable for the father sin’ so give everyone a fair and clean slate before judging them.
The idea of “light-skin” privilege angers me. I have always been fair skinned and as a little girl I was ostracized by classmates and teachers for “looking white”. Dark-skinned women (who were grown as I was a child) would make comments about my racially ambiguous appearance and treat me with disdain. As I became older the only taste of light-skin privilege I got was men on the street yelling out “Hey Light Skin!!!” as I passed by. Is being rejected and disrespected by your own people while still facing the realities of being a black women a privilege?
Instead of making children aware of the foolish racial intricacies of our world, we should be guiding children on how to be loving individuals worthy of being judged not by their appearance but by the content of their character.
I usually don’t respond to blogs, but this one hit home for me. As a child, I was lighter than most of the kids in the neighborhood, and was often teased and questioned about my ethnicity because of my color, my hair, and the way I spoke. My mother is multi-racial, but I was raised by my father and his wife who is white. My son is quite a bit darker than me (his father is Jamaican and very dark), and he spends lots of time with my mom who raised me. He is extremely bright (skipped a grade), extremely active, easily bored, as any typical 9 year old boy. Never once in his life had he ever had anyone (especially from the family) question him and his abilities based on his color until 4th grade. Surprisingly, the comment came from another African-American child.
It hurt me and my son, that another child said he was less than worthy because he is dark. When I asked him how he handled the situation. He said, he told the young lady’s mother that she should teach her daughter to love herself for all of who she is, and everything that makes her special, instead of pointing out how she’s different. We all have out personal flaws. It doesn’t matter what you look like on the outside, one’s propensity for greatness is tied more to personal integrity, stamina, and willingness to put forth the effort and work required. As a community, we really need to move beyond focusing on the superficial traits that the country used for so long as their only viable source of separation and suppression.
.
” It often comes as a surprise
for people to discover that
`There is No Such Thing as a
“Light Skinned Black” person’.
The actual term of “Light Skinned Black”
is nothing more that a racist oxymoron
that was coined by racial supremacists
— in an effort to try to forcibly deny the
many `Mixed-Race’ people who were / are
of a Multi-Generational Multiracially-Mixed
(MGM-Mixed) Ancestral Lineage the right
TO both embrace (and also receive public
support in openly acknowledging) the
physically visible (and obvious)
FACT of their FULL-ancestry.
The eugenicists and other racial-supremacists
created a non-scientific, spurious and racist concept
called the `One-Drop Rule’ (ODR) in an effort
to falsely label any Black bloodlines found in a
Mixed-Race individual’s ancestral lineage as being
both an “inferior” and a “contaminated” “taint”
that was so “filthy” and “vile” that even a mere
`drop’ of it had quite literally managed (and would
eternally continue) to destroy the actual existence of
all of the other blood-lineages found in their ancestry.
[NOTE: More information on the racist,
reeking, odious ODR is found below.]
Again, the so-called “Light Skinned Black” people
are simply `Multi-Generational Multiracially-Mixed’
(MGM-Mixed) / `Mixed-Race’ people who happened
to have been from families that BOTH BECAME
(AND CONTINUALLY-REMAINED) Mixed-Race
THROUGHOUT their multiple generations.
[PLEASE NOTE that THIS IS NOT stating or implying
that having a LIGHT-Complexioned SKIN tone
IS THE `ONLY’ (OR even a `REQUIRED’) PROOF
of any person being OF MIXED-RACE LINEAGE.
It’s simply stating that the person’s Light-complexioned
skin coloring and tone is quite clearly an UNDENIABLE
physical PROOF of the FACT that their family’s Ancestral
Lineage has been `CONTINUALLY’ racially Admixed
`THROUGHOUT’ the GENERATIONS (from the very first
occurrence of “racial” admixing up to their very present
generation of such ex. Griffe marries Metis, etc.).
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THE KEY to actually being a `Multi-Generational
Multiracially-Mixed’ (MGM-Mixed) Mixed-Race
individual IS ONE’S LINEAGE-CONTINUITY!!
In order to be of the Mixed-Race ‘type’ that is
known as `Multi-Generational Multiracially-Mixed’
or `MGM-Mixed’ — one’s ancestry MUST have
BOTH BECOME & REMAINED (at least 25%)
racially-admixed THROUGHOUT all of their
family generations — starting with the
very first occurrence of admixture
up unto their present generation!
[Simply having 1 or 2 "ancient-ancestors"
who are said to have been of some
"other race" and that are allegedly
found "somewhere-down-the-line"
(ex. a great-grand whatever of another
"race") -- DOES NOT -- make anyone
MGM-Mixed^ (or else nearly everyone
found on the planet could then (falsely)
claim that they are MGM-Mixed ^).
(^Multi-Generational Multiracially-Mixed)]
Being `Multi-Generational Multiracially-Mixed’
or ‘MGM-Mixed’ REQUIRES that a person’s
lineage has a “CONTINUITY-of-Admixture”.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A NOTE ON . The Racist
`One-Drop’ Rule (ODR):
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The ‘One-Drop’ Rule (ODR) — [which is the false
teaching that 'any amount' (even one, tiny, minute
`drop') of Black ancestral lineage would make any
a person who is of a Mixed-Race lineage "full Black"]
— is quite simply nothing more than racism.
The racist, reeking, odious ODR was created during
the antebellum / chattel-slavery era of the continental
U.S. by racial-supremacists in order to get people to
believe the false racist myth that the so-called White
“race” was “pure” and to also falsely look upon
the Black “racial” admixture (even the slightest
amount down to one mere `drop’) that was found
within a Mixed-Race person’s ancestral lineage —
as being a vile “taint” that was so very `filthy’
and `contaminated’ that it literally “destroyed”
every single `drop’ of non-Black blood that
was found in the persons’ ancestral lineage.
To embrace the ‘One-Drop Rule’ is the
equivalent of BOTH embracing “racism”
and also embracing the false and racist
teaching that a Mixed-Race person’s
Black ancestral lineage is “tainted”.
My advice is that a non-Racist should *not*
embrace the concept of the ‘One-Drop Rule’
— as “Black blood” is *not* “tainted” — and
should never be perceived or embraced
as being so (not even in the name
of so-called “pride” and “unity”).
The racist ‘One Drop Rule’ (ODR) is an offense to
the pride of people who are of a full-Black lineage
and to people who of a Mixed-Race lineage that
includes a part-Black ancestry as well — and this
FACT is also why it is not a ‘unifying’ force at all
— but rather, it is a racist attack on their heritages.
In addition, legally-speaking any attempted
forcible application of the racist ‘One-Drop Rule’
(ODR) — against any individual or group — was
ruled as UN-constitutional (i.e. made `illegal’)
by the United States Supreme Court in 1967
via the case of ‘Loving vs. The State of Virginia’.
[Through the 'Loving vs. Virginia' case, the U.S.
Supreme Court, ruled against both all of the laws
banning Interracial marriage -- and -- also ruled
that any so-called law which forcibly applied the
'One Drop Rule' -- was racist, discriminatory,
illegal, unconstitutional, and non-enforcible.
That decision (`The "Loving" Decision' or `The "Loving"
Case) struck down the racist `VA Racial Integrity Act'
(VRIA) and every `Anti-Miscegenation Law' (AML) found
in the U.S. AS WELL AS the racist, `One-Drop Rule'
(ODR) on which both the VRIA & the AMLs were based!]
So essentially there has been no legal
application of the racist “ONE-DROP RULE’
(ODR) found within the U.S. SINCE 1967.
[i.e. The stench of the reeking, racist, odious ODR
(which openly-mocked, cruelly-degraded and also
falsely-accused one's black-bloodlines of being a
`contaminated taint' that destroyed the existence
of any and all of one's other / non-black bloodlines)
-- along with it's biased application and racist
terminologies -- has legally been `cleared from
the air' of the U.S. since way back in 1967.]
Thus, again, there is NO SUCH THING as
a “Light-Skinned Black” person (as these
individuals are quite simply `Multi-Generational
Multiracially-Mixed (MGM-Mixed)’ Mixed-Race
people who are from families that have
been CONTINUALLY racially-admixed
THROUGHOUT their generations).
For more information on this topic,
please feel to contact me via email
and / or to visit the websites below.
APGifts, Founder / Moderator
(Generation-Mixed; MGM-Mixed
and FGM-Mixed `Yahoo!Groups’)
© All Rights Reserved
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/generation-mixed
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/mgm-mixed
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fgm-mixed
email: soaptalk AT hotmail DOT com
allpeoplegifts AT gmail DOT com
.
Related links:
.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Generation-Mixed/message/1399
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Generation-Mixed/message/1602
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Generation-Mixed/message/1691
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Generation-Mixed/message/1745
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Generation-Mixed/message/3331 ”
.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Generation-Mixed/message/4160
.
https://www.youtube.com/user/apgifts/about
.